Oh man, it has been a while folks… We come to you on the eve of Grand Gathering and the fomo is hitting the clown hard enough that he just wants to vamp. And there is no better a topic to bring to your eyes than the potentially missed archetype of this years attendees. Todays topic is on none other than Chaos Crafters; or the ever so rare “Pile” player. We’ll be discussing what it is, how you can amplify into true madness, and what sets you apart from “Just another Florida Aggro” list.
As always we start with the question of “What is a Chaos Crafter.” Chaos Crafters are deck building connoisseurs; if their taste in cards was equivalent to a finely crafted homestyle dinner that they’ve been making and consuming on the same day every week for the last 2 years. Yeah your Wednesday Night Spa-peggy and Meatballs is probably delicious, but you’ve been making Spaghetti on Wednesday Night every Wednesday Night since college. Let me “Un-manic” that for you back into card terms… Chaos Crafters are obsessed with certain cards, and they try to fit them into every deck they make, even if there is not a true reason for them to be in it. A Chaos Crafters list is a list full of Pet Cards, and unintelligible madness that can surprisingly take a game in a completely different direction than the other archetypes intend.
Each archetype has a degree that you can often measure how deep in the rabbit hole one could fall. Chaos Crafting is the rare outlier in terms of efficacy. These are not often a quantifiable list with an end goal, because the end goal to a Chaos Crafter is set somewhere way outside the scope of the match. Getting started as a Chaos Crafter is often becoming hooked on one specific line of card, for reference I will be notated the “Gateway Drug” of this chaos as the 4-6 Modified Stop Line. Apocalypse, Rejected and their red headed step child Derailed are in “too many” lists. I hear it already… “But Chuggy, these are staple cards, you even call them Staples!” Yes. These are staples, but the problem with staples is they are “easy” additions to a deck. Stop and think why you decided to just auto include a Rejected in your list; determine if it’s more beneficial for you to be in deck out, can you shuffle that deck, can you filter back to what’s rejected, can you keep your opponent off of the cards you buried? If you are more often than not putting yourself in a negative position for resolving a card and keep putting it in your decks, congratulations you have a Pet Card, and you are a Chaos Crafter.
There is a vast difference between accidentally finding yourself in the archetype and purposefully mastering your craft though. Let’s double back to that red headed step child. Your pet card is Derailed, Derailing people make you feel good. Why don’t we just… Sprinkle in a Brainwashed… More Derailed means more feel good right? Man how bout a Face-Off… Toss out of the ring seems good… Man look at the dopamine receptors as I keep making my opponent shuffle… Shuffling… Man if I put these cards in New Cyclone, we’re gunna get to Derail even more… Oh there’s tutors on 22-24? That may be good cuz there’s always cards in deck… Top Decks suck, lets add shuffle to put more cards BACK in our decks on 16-18… Oh did your opponent rip one of their sleeves because we’re shuffling so much?
Yeah….
That’s the good stuff…
Feels real good… Don’t it?
A master Chaos Crafter isn’t out to win. A master Chaos Crafter is a junkie. They win when either both players are exhausted from the chaos that has ensued, or when both parties are lost so deep in the match that hours have passed.
So… How do you realize you are one, to either stop yourself from going off the deep end? Or yknow… Dive head first into shenanigans. Well thankfully it’s super easy. Is there one card that’s finding its way into your list without thinking? You’ve been infected. You have one choice from this point, evaluate your deck and truly decide if your Pet Card deserves that slot over something else; or huff a sock full of spray paint and go off the deep end, making every card synergize with that pet card. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE CHAOS CRAFTERS, and I’ve got a few lists myself, but if a professional SRG Player looked at your list they may vomit. You could likely beat said player like you would any other but the term “SRG Is a Dice game” may really be personified here.
How do you survive as a Chaos Crafter? Well let’s look at some fun Pet Cards often associated with Chaos. We’ve seen the Deep End of Derailed. How about the Madness line? Every deck can technically run one of the 3 lines safely and still fulfill 2 lines of stopping a finish; but in essence there is zero reason to be running this specific line of cards. Yes the text of the 19 will turn off your opponents grapples, but by extension and unwritten to the cards text, you have turned off all of your submissions, because the grapples can clear the poisoned condition using a Stop… Let’s elevate from this position, to survive this encounter we build a deck that is predominantly powerful on Strikes and Grapples, and either ignore our submission line (the not so wrong answer) or turn our submission line into a tutoring engine to find our Madness card. We have now elevated past this being a Pet Card, and it being a legit win engine. Another example of a Pet Card is slotting in Disqualification cards. There is almost no reason for a standard deck to be running Mist in the Face; unless you are dragging your opponent into a No DQ via card text… Yet you can build an entire Disqualification deck that hits like a brick-shit house – but fundamentally doesn’t need to exist in a standard meter. What about a light dipping of chaos? Well if you’re adding Restoration Potion #8 to every single deck you may be addicted to sipping that potion! If your worst stats are Strike and Agility, and your Finishes are designed to kill and not hard coded for a pin; Restoration Potion #8 is tantamount to eating cement. Put some hot sauce on your cement folks! Going off the deep end with Resto means your running it on every slot, you better be playing a turbo competitor of some sort to abuse the shuffles, you better make Resto a better card than it already is. You should be playing a competitor that maybe has better value engines and less effective finishes (Statwise)… Etc etc.
“Chuggy this is really starting to sound like Florida Aggro.” Brothers from another Mother dear reader. Florida Aggro is playing a game of Math, juggling optimization to have a viable play each turn in the anticipation there may not be another turn coming forever more. Chaos Crafters are playing a game of Russian Roulette, jamming their favorite cards time and time again until it works and you are now entering their circus of impossibilities. Chaos Crafting is an Art; and I respect it, but you improving means you lose some of your charm… And I would never wish that on you.
Without further adieu we know what you’re really here for… That’s right folks this match is scheduled for… ONE FALL!
ONE FALL!
And it is for the matchups of the century, can Chaos find its way through the haze and snatch victory from the other archetypes? Unlike the last times, Chaos Crafting isn’t really quantifiable, if you are dipping your toes into the Chaos you are also dipping your toes into any other pool as well.
So we’re going to talk about extreme chaos vs our other archetypes tiers.
At the low end a Chaos Crafter is going to walk all over a Sealed Dedicationist; there’s something about an out of the box starter that cannot match to a streamlined strategy, even if that strategy is mentally incomprehensible. Moving to the Chad 15 we’re down to the dice and mental gymnastics but I feel an extreme Chaos Crafter also has their foot just too in the door for a Chad 15 to predict the unpredictable at THIS stage. Florida Aggro’s low range as previously established is decks that are Aggro for Aggro’s sakes and while they can play the field faster, a controlled chaos environment can rock their world. Making an educated Chaos Crafter one of the scariest walls a group of new players struggle to get past… But what’s important about it is the Chaos Crafter is often-times one of the nicest individuals out there and will try to hype this chaos up, and while he may be beating you, you can’t help but be infected by the hilarity on the table.
We’re dropping into the middle class of our archetypes; back at the Sealed Dediactionist we’re down to a roll of the dice. Chaos Crafters may understand the opponents decks are easily predictable but their game-plans against newer builds like the Steel Chain Deck may be stunted or non-committal to your chaotic strategies. Chad 15 has your number here; your Chaos is known throughout the community and these players are YOUR wall. They have the answer for your chaos, because they see it every day; they force the Finishes you don’t want to see because you sacrificed vital information, you have to overcome them, not the other way around. Some ways you can improve your play against this middle ground is adding some variety to your decks, adopt a new pet often, keep the chaos fresh because if it goes stale you get countered at Deck Construction. Florida Aggro at this stage loves you, they read your deck in the first two cards, and want to dance around your chaos or even worse… Play into it on purpose to create an opening. Don’t meet their pace, you cannot race them. Hopefully your pet cards are counter-productive to the Florida Aggros build.
Finally we are at the extreme ends of each archetype. One Deck Gods vs a bonafide Cultist of Chaos… We’re back to that good old fashioned down to the dice argument, deck construction means the least here for both players. Whoever gets their line of play going first will likely take the W, making this purely a momentum competition. Next up is Chaddest of 15’s vs Cultist of Chaos! Pack it up Cultists, the Chaddest’s have your number every day of the week; your shenanigans aren’t working here. Certified Floridians vs a Cultist of Chaos? Actually I think the Cultist may have the upper hand in this match. A deeply refined Florida Aggro List has very limited resources to stop an “out of left field” card. It may genuinely be their worst matchup. I know there are some games where I’d rather get hit with a Finish than a Madness in my 3 Grapple Finish List… Chaos Crafters, my brothers, go easy on us please.
But I will now take this time to talk to my dearest children. Daddy Florida is back, and he’s only got a couple words of advice for combating Chaos. Throw the numbers out the window and sink back into your roots. The only way to quantify the unquantifiable is to sip the crazy juice just as hard as the Chaos Crafter. You likely can’t get a grasp on their whole 1-30 but you can get a grasp on their favorite card. Feel out the opponent, not the deck, and try to formulate not a mathematically average play, but a line of play that is not self destructive to THEIR playing field. Chaos Crafters have shown you the grace of a bonkers combination, and you need to respect it.
Back in our summary… Florida Aggro is Aggro. Chad 15 is Control. Sealed Dedicationists are Mid-Range. Chaos Crafters are Pile Players. Next on our docket? You tell me in the comments below!